With a colourful pichkari in her hand and a splash of birght red gulaal on her face, Kangna Ranaut was excited like a child about the festival of colours.
So, how has Kangna's Holi been as a child? "Holi?" she laughs, "Rocking! As a child toh rocking for sure... because I come from a small town and Holi is a very big festival there. Lots of khaana is made at home. You get up in the morning, and you are already coloured (as the elders of the house have already put some colour on your face when you were asleep). The most interesting part is that you get out of your bed, and fun begins.
You don't have to brush, you don't have to take a bath, you just need to step out in your night suit and start playing... jump into the tub full of colour. And that's how your day starts. I used to enjoy that madness as a kid. Trust me, initially, it used to feel a bit weird. You walk out of your house, and you feel 'I'm still in my chappals and nightwear... umm... and I'm outside, with so many people around!' But then, you realise that nobody's really recognising you. It then gets very comfortable. You have bhaang and all."
Holi is not the same anymore for her, for obvious reasons. "You feel threatened when you step into the crowd. And you fear that those who are drunk can harm you. If I go out to these parties that I'm invited to – even the filmi parties – I'm shit scared that people might just do anything," she says.
Holi today may not be as wild for her as it used to be back then, but "My sister and I do apply a bit of colour for the shagun, and we cook... it's more about the food and catching up with friends." Does she know how to cook? ""Yes! I've been on my own for a long time, so that made me learn such things," she smiles, while taking the pichkari in her hands and playing with it.
She will turn 24 in a few days, with her birthday on March 23. Much has been said and written about her, and she says that it disturbs her, as she's not the way she's projected at times. Then, one would like to know what kind of a person she is, what is it about her that nobody knows. She pauses and answers, "I'm...I'm hopelessly egoistic. I'm really, really egoistic, more than what people can imagine, and it always works against me, as in, ego has never done any good to anyone, and this egoistic feeling does not come from a nice place." Apart from that, she says she talks a lot, "Mostly things which I shouldn't talk about... these are the things that I'm fed up of about myself. But today, I am more responsible than before. Like, for instance, if I have to get up at 3am, I might just end up not sleeping the whole night. That's what responsibility does to you."
Why does she mention 'I come from a small town' so often? "That's because life and things and almost everything is different there as compared to a city... but when I say that, I don't mean that I belong to a poor, broke family or from a situation where there were no houses to live and people lived on roads! I had a big house... and I come from a very wealthy family. My great grandfather was very proud of his surname 'Ranaut' – the Rajasthani Rajput. So, when he learnt I'm trying my hand at modelling and acting, he urged me to drop Ranaut from my name. And yes, as people must have heard, I was, after that, all on my own... as when I left from my house, I wasn't given even a rupee. I learnt to live on my own.... slowly and gradually."